Amendment 64. Focus On The Family. Colorado, everyone!

Colorado. Lately, when you hear the name of my state you think violence and fires.

Well, it’s time to change the subject. I don’t have anything of value to contribute to those topics that hasn’t already been said.

I’d rather talk hardcore Christianity and marijuana.

I live in a funky state. And now, we have a law on the ballot to legalize marijuana, Amendment 64.  

I was hanging out with some friends last night, and we came up with an angle that hasn’t really been touched on yet. (Or if it has, please forward the article to me or post here. I would love to read.)

Ask: what is a main reason many fundamentalist Christians don’t smoke marijuana? Its legal status. Its stigma.

Scenario: Amendment 64 passes. This social barrier called illegality is removed. Some of the Christians spark up in the dark, so now they’ll be less inclined to hide it.

And the new people, just discovering it, those ultra-serious people, the ones who have spent their whole lives thinking of it as “the devil weed”.

Think of them.

And no, I’m not talking about the previously-closeted tokers and the new-agey weed-is-part-of-our-religion people that will wholeheartedly embrace the new law, I’m not talking about them.

I’m talking about the Keepin’ It Real Christian CHRISTIANS. The Values Voters. I saw an example the other day of the type of person I’m talking about, in traffic. The guy was driving an obnoxiously huge SUV. On the back he had a sticker of the Darwin symbol (a fish with front feet) being eaten by a humongous fish. It covered half of the back window.

Yeah, that guy.

Obviously, I can’t include the ones who don’t drink alcohol, but imagine the way-right-wing Christians who do imbibe.

Amendment 64 would give them the opportunity to toke as well. From the occasional drinkers to the ones that booze too much, think of that segment of fundamentalists.

If Amendment 64 passes, weed will be okay with them now. It will start with a few adventurous ones, but sooner or later the fundamentalist Christian sect is going to discover bong hits.

Don’t even go that far, just imagine a group of Evangelicals sitting around on a Friday afternoon, loading up a hooka bowl full of AK, and talking Scripture.

I’m not being funny here, I think this will be a good thing.

And the socials.

“Welcome to our church social, we got blueberry ice cream, lemon ice cream—and then we got the Blueberry Kush and an AK/Lemon Drop hybrid, hookas over there. Time to socialize with God, knowwhatImean? Fist-pound.”

There will be an off-shoot of The Tea Party: The Tea Par-TAY.

And fast-forward five or so years.

“To the listener of this answering machine message, you’ve reached the answering machine for Focus On The… Family. Our normal business hours are—shhhhh, SHUT UP, I’m trying to leave our message, I need to sound professional SHUT UP—hey—”

“Gimme the phone! Wait, here. (Chuckle) Here goes: Focus On The Family can’t come to the phone right now because (chuckle) we are heavily focused on this week’s episode of ‘Family Guy’… Yeahhh, duuuuuuude—Leave us a message.”

And if you want to know something else, I still haven’t made up my mind on 64 yet. I see the pro’s and the con’s to the bill.

I gotta fill out my ballot this weekend.


One thought on “Amendment 64. Focus On The Family. Colorado, everyone!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s