Fox News told them that contracting Covid-19 is a great way to own the libs. Why not put the soon-to-be-dead MAGAts to good use and stage a production of the 1972 musical, Cabaret?
Look at those willfully-ignorant Donald Trump supporters, just laying there, hogging up hospital beds and respirators. Vaccinated rich people told them to stay unvaccinated. And these supporters happily obeyed.
Now they’re just laying there.
Which is so not hustle culture. We could put them to better use, you know.
Sure, there’s those obvious ideas. Like hosting tossing contests at local bars and restaurants, where patrons throw vegetated anti-vaxxers as far as they can to win prizes.
Groups of people could use the out-of-it patients as building blocks to construct pyramids and other structures—maybe it’s all a race against the clock. This has “corporate team-building exercise” written all over it.
But I’m the artsy-fartsy type.
Now Fatherland, Fatherland, show us the sign
Your children have waited to see
The morning will come
When the world is mine
Tomorrow belongs to me
Tomorrow belongs to me
If needed, a Hollywood CGI studio can add a few special effects to the bad-assery.
Americans have been in search of an artistic metaphor, a narrative to help them make sense of this modern predicament. My remake combines that metaphor and that narrative, mixes them together and tops them off with some good-old-fashioned Gen X kitsch.
“Dude…check it: the song says, ‘Tomorrow Belongs to Me’ but the dumb-ass marionettes are days away from kicking the bucket—so…it’s like the song is about them, but it’s actually NOT ABOUT THEM! Don’t you see how mind-numbingly brilliant that is???”
Fuck it. Let’s go the distance.
The entire two-hour musical, yes. We recreate Cabaret using comatose anti-vaxxers who contracted Covid-19.
A modern spin on a story about Germany turning into Nazi Germany. With near-dead marionettes.
Maybe we put on a thank-you party for the burned-out medical professionals who have had to deal with the Donald Trump Fan Club for far too long.
Now that I have spelled out my vision, I will acknowledge that some readers may be horrified. Horrified. Flabbergasted. Insulted. I can hear that negativity now.
Some of you are sending hate-vibes because you think that a remake of Jesus Christ Superstar using Covid-positive marionettes is what the country needs.
Others believe that Roadhouse serves as a much better vehicle for this artistic experiment.
Whatever. What. Ever.
Whatever we disagree about, we also agree that it’s stupid to stay unvaccinated when the people telling you to do so are vaccinated themselves.
One last thing, in the “Tomorrow Belongs to Me” video: be like the old guy with glasses, at 2:25.
If America goes fascist, be like him.
Riffing off of other posts:
• Bros: America’s New Jews
• Bury Rush Limbaugh at Arlington with full military honors. Own the libs.
• A hypothetical experiment using two white guys who overuse the word “successful.”
• Assaulting the Handicapped: A Fathers and Sons Story
• The 1% like ’em young, dumb, and full of shit.
• Open letter to a selfie of my drunk-ass self, taken on August 11th, 2001.
I write fiction and have two dark comedies available, Fearkiller (Volume 1) and Notes from Trillionaire Island: Fearkiller (Volume 2), as well as Revolutionizer Alpha, the first book in a sci-fi series. I also wrote a story about God. It was weird, but then I decided to make the story and its sequel free. And all of the sudden, it didn’t seem as weird. Writing about God is much less weird when you write about God without charging money for it. Here’s my professional site, my trade. Follow me on Medium.