Remember the mumbo-jumbo a while back about Don Jr. running for President of the United States? Thank god that crazy-talk fizzled. Can you imagine?

Reader: I have to come clean about my reviews of movies from the future, films produced during Eric Trump’s reign. Are the movies real? I can’t say for certain, since they’re from the future. Space-time is tricky, even PhD physicists have a hard time explaining the concept. But the reviews….I will attest that every review below is 100%, honest-to-goodness real. I wrote them with real words using real letters from the actual Roman Alphabet itself. Yeah, the Romans.

While the authenticity of movies like Zeus: God of America and Ayn Rand’s Anal Antics #17 cannot be verified: the reviews are authentic. And when it comes down to it, who reads reviews of actual movies that actually have been produced to learn about those movies, then possibly go buy tickets to see them? Who does that?

Movies from the Eric Trump years, my reviews of the era:

Wall-to-wall music extravaganza: Demerit Dance Party
A family film: Assaulting the Handicapped: A Fathers and Sons Story
Buddy-cop movie: Punchy and Kicky: Two Cops On the “Beat”
Rom-com: Neg & Nag
Big-budget, religious fable: Zeus: God of America
Biopic about a historical figure: Ayn Rand’s Anal Antics #17
Vietnam War epic: Full Metal Jacket 2: the Legend of Dickie
Civil War: Stonewall Jackson Single-Handedly Slays Socialists from the North
College romp: “K” Is For “College”
Superhero origin story: Impotent Rage Rises
An epic saga: With Teabags Dangling from their Faces
Political thriller: Tremendous Trump the First Vanquishes Evil Kaepernick Tremendously
Cutesy, kiddie tale: Becky Thavesth All Of Americath Aminalth
Modern drama: Hardass Babcock, One Badass Chickenhawk
A blockbuster with a message: Book Burnin’ Bikini Babes On Bourbon
Homage to a modern hero: My Smirk Is My War Face: the Kyle Rittenhouse Story

Besides being a critic of movies that haven’t been filmed yet, I also write fiction. Marketing communications, too.