James Cameron’s sci-fi blockbuster “Aliens” hit the theaters forty years ago today.

I was fourteen years old when I first saw this movie. The giant-ass theater was built during the 1960s, back when architects thought “modern-looking” meant the building had to look like it belonged in an episode of “The Jetsons”.

That space-man architectural philosophy was cooler-than-cool. Diners with odd-angled roofs and odd-shaped interiors. Gas stations in the shapes of pyramids. Hell yeah.

The Continental Theater in Denver, Colorado no longer exists. I can’t tell you how many ’80s movies I saw there. Hearing film directors talk about “cinematic experiences” makes me think of immense viewing spaces like what the Continental offered, with its immersive screen spanning wall-to-wall and crystal-clear sound.

“Aliens” was a masterpiece. I feel fortunate to have seen it as it was meant to be seen. On its anniversary, let me offer a thought on a remake, a rework that aligns with the sensibilities of our modern times. I’ve written about the idea before, but here’s a recap. Picture this:

A remake of the 1980s hit “Aliens” that pays homage to the original in every way possible, since this is the respectful thing to do. But here’s my twist: we make Carter Burke the hero of the story this time around.

Interesting, huh?

Hear me out: Burke was the only person on that mission who cared about the needs of the shareholders—the Job Creators who funded this mission with money earned via hard work, bootstrappiness, and putting in 120+-hour weeks. It’s like the rest of the crew did not have it in their hearts to think of the yachts that needed to be bought and the high-dollar divorce lawyers who needed to be hired. Jealousy is sad.

I’m only playing devil’s advocate here, but shouldn’t we folks who believe that Elon Musk is the world’s smartest man show empathy for Burke’s point of view? If you are like me, you saw the trailer for Christopher Nolan’s “The Odyssey” and got incensed at the sight of Greek warrior-guys wearing dresses,. Might be some Hollywoke LGBTQ subversiveness campaign going on here. Hey, Hollywood; those Greek guys wore Levi’s, tailored to accentuate the hammers in their alpha-male pants.

Besides, Ripley? Talk about single cat-ladies—thereyougo.

I don’t know about you, but I was offended at the way she talked to Burke. Offended. She offended me greatly. Greatly. Is my speak-to-the-manager voice coming through loud and clear here?

When she said, ““You know, Burke, I don’t know which species is worse. You don’t see them fucking each other over for a goddamn percentage.” I wanted to jump into the screen and rescue my hero Carter from the womenfolk. “Every percentage matters, lady! I’m sorry that capitalism offends you!” I wanted to yell.

Maybe this is the problem with these modern times, my fellow non-rich believers in trickle-down economics: So many Ripleys in the world. Which terrifies us and hurts our fee-fees so, amirite?

To close, thank you to the entire cast and crew, every human being who made “Aliens” happen. You nailed it. From the open to sticking the landing. Fuck AI.

Earlier posts:
• Sith Rebirth, my Star Wars fanfiction story.
• Are you in your twenties and wondering what’s up with your parents?
• A gigantic thank you, from me to Rush Limbaugh.
• World events since I released my first book.
• Open letter to a selfie of my drunk-ass self, taken on August 11th, 2001.

I write fiction and have a dark comedy series available, Fearkiller (Volume 1) and Notes from Trillionaire Island: Fearkiller (Volume 2), as well as Revolutionizer Alpha, the first book in a sci-fi series. I also wrote a story about God. It was weird, but then I decided to make the story and its sequel free. And all of the sudden, it didn’t seem as weird. Writing about God is much less weird when you write about God without charging money for it. Here’s my professional site, my trade. Follow me on Medium.