In 2019, a Republican is either a racist or a carterburke. There is no middle ground.

“…you know, Burke, I don’t know which species is worse. You don’t see them fucking each other over for a goddamn percentage.”   —Ellen Ripley, Aliens

Carter Burke and Alien
Great picture of a Fox News employee reviewing the company business plan.  

I post this on the anniversary of Heather Heyer’s death in Charlottesville. I am writing this one for the white people who do not want to be thought of as white supremacist, yet also respond to all-too-real acts of white supremacy like Heather Heyer’s murder with deflections, dismissiveness, gas lighting and statements about how “both sides” are to blame. The folks who get way-too-perturbed at hearing that awful “r” word—and no, I’m not talking about “Republican”. 

The purpose of this blog piece is to introduce the world to a new word—not just a word, but a new descriptor for an archetype, a new way to phrase. 

Though the word “carterburke” is based off of a very old concept. 

By “very old” I mean 1986, the year that “Aliens” debuted in the theaters. 

Putting carterburke into practice is called “carterburkeism” and I’ve written snippets about carterburkeism before, in posts like this one:

“The overt white ugliness piping through the air? Here’s the thing: the fat-cats aimed for a quieter and more unassuming brand of white supremacy. Their insidious game plan to foster a white-centric society did not call attention to itself. The current loud ugliness gets a cold shoulder from the HNW crowd because they have no idea how to address this push by the minority of racists. They never saw Big Don and his gaggle of red-hatted folks comin’…their volume levels, not what the rich fellas signed on for. A similar situation happened in the movie ‘Aliens’. A character named Carter Burke, played by Paul Reiser, wanted a promotion. So he decided to infect an unknowing crew member with the alien spore in order to sneak the spore past quarantine. Poor Burke died with a slack-jawed look on his face. Right before the alien’s little-mouth bit through Burke’s head, bro must have felt so confused.

I see that same confused look in America’s high-net-worth individuals these days.”

Carterburkeism, in a nutshell, refers to the conscious desire to profiteer off of threatening entities by deploying them against the masses. 

The threatening entity could come in the form of supremacy. Other times, it manifests as aliens that can bite through humans’ heads with their little alien-mouths housed inside their bigger alien-mouths.

Whatever the entity’s form, the people exploiting it tend to be driven by one goal: the accumulation ofcold, hard cash. 

Pardon me…they’re “saving for their retirements”.

These types get so hot and bothered about the “racist” label because they see themselves as shrewd capitalists. While racism and sexism provide them with the tools for exploitation, they themselves aren’t racist and sexist, goddammit. Nononono…it’s all about the benjamins, they say. 

Supremacy hidden behind naked greed does make sense as an angle to bullshit the masses. If I had a lump of dung for a soul, I would do the same thing.

This strategic approach provides the racists with another way to look at their own racism—it’s just about a poor fella tryin’ to make a dollar, right? This line of reasoning turns racists into a rabid band, unpaid supporters of the 1%. The poorer racists also commit racist acts that grab headlines, drawing attention away from the richer whites’ tax shelters that exist thanks to the same racist agenda. 

The 1%’s game plan also takes their naked greed and slings it like dung-lumps at the societal whole. Little bits of dung-lump to stick to non-supporters, suggesting that every person would engage in the same behavior as the 1%, given the chance. 

Evolution. It’s not for everyone. 

Know what makes this modern slide into racism and sexism even more sad? The people taking all the money from it know that they take society backward instead of forward. These people get enabled by white people whose only desired reward is the freedom to tell offensive jokes about black people and blondes. They’ll lose their house and put their kids on the street as long as they get to walk by a brown person and feel superior. 

Blue Horseshoe loves societal regression. 

Just don’t call those “investors” racist. Or sexist. 

Nooooooooo. 

Calling them that word is worse than the pain that a woman endures when giving birth, according to Fox News. 

They aren’t racist. They profiteer off of racism and—at the same time, they say—help keep the foaming-at-the-mouth racists in check by flaunting their wealth, dangling sexy yachts and nubile third wives in front of the MAGA-hatted. 

Yeah, they say, let rich white guys take the lead when it comes to conversations about racism and supremacy. They’ll do what is best for the masses. 

These hedge-fund/Silicon Valley bros seem so confident that they can control the MAGA-hatted fellers and their womenfolk. 

World: please don’t be stupid. Racism and white supremacy are so much more powerful than money.

Here’s how it will go down:

The carterburkes—sensing that they need to step up to protect their offshore accounts—will get the cameras and gather a bunch of MAGA-hatted fellers together, bringing them close in, coming down to the MAGA-hats’ levels for a caucasian-to-caucasian talk. 

Then those MAGA-hatted fellers’ little alien-mouths will shoot out of the bigger alien-mouths and bite straight through the carterburkes’ heads. 

Rest in peace, Heather Heyer. 

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