The Dow is climbing. So are mortality rates.

The 1% and corporations need a tax increase. The numbers don’t lie.

Right now, a hedge-funder is laying on his therapist’s couch and saying, “Doc: is it weird that I make my mistresses wear rubber Ronald Reagan masks when we have sex?”

Wow and big-whoopity-whoop.

After a December 2019 where manufacturers cut 12,000 jobs, the Dow Jones Industrial Average hit 29,000 today. It’s almost like the two numbers relate to each other in some roundabout way or something.

Across the land, high-priced divorced lawyers sit excitedly with their phones in hand. Yacht salesmen are making updates to their sales pitches.

Oh yeah…the national debt keeps growing as well. (Cutting the corporate and high-earners’ tax rates has been cited as a big contributor to the deficit.)

Also, analysts expected more jobs to be created in the fourth quarter of last year.

But let’s not let facts like these ruin the vibe. We’re ordering $5000 hamburgers over here.

Some fun facts about this modern business world:

• Investors love companies who cut employee benefits

• Layoffs lead to an increase in stock prices

• Corporations do not create jobs with their tax savings

Rentier economics. Fun term to look up.

I’ve written about vulture capitalists and their bullshit before. Read more of my bullshit about their bullshit:

The 2010s: billionaires bitched. Their racist bitches died off early.

Finance has a fascism fetish.

Smirk through the pain.

What not to say in the 2020s.