The limited liability caucasian.

A legion of incorporated dudebros has been working overtime to defend corporate monopolies and uber-rich tax cheats.
This nice meme popped up last year as Covid-19 spread. USA! USA! USA!

When the pandemic began there was 1 person worth $100 billion. Now there are 9.
When the pandemic began the 10 richest people had $695 billion. Now they have $1.36 trillion.
And they paid a lower tax rate than service workers who risked their lives for $7.25/hour in a pandemic.

Dan Price

So…we got a billionaire-space-race going on.

And we got lots of folks pointing out that the billionaires’ behavior adds up to nothing more than over-entitled nonsense.

Yes, astro-oligarchs. The world has an inequality problem.

The wealth gap worsened during a pandemic which has killed so many more people than it should have—and disproportionately killed poorer people, as well as Black, Indigenous, and People of Color.

In the summer of 2021, the mega-wealthy mega-space-party isn’t going over well. It’s precious to watch the .01% and their fan club pretend that they’re taken aback by this news.

I like that the masses are calling bullshit. I’d be worried if they weren’t.

But if you’re a rentier capitalist and you’re freaking out, chin up.

The societal archetype known as the Limited Liability Caucasian is here for you, standing back and standing by.

In the United States, tens of millions of folks believe that the best way to ward off the evil Harpo and his Marxism is to give the wealthy and corporations as many handouts and financial breaks as possible.

Limited Liability Caucasians are just one of the various groups who promote socialism-for-the-rich policies that hurt their own interests.

Every day, all across the USA, LLCs and other archetypes run interference on behalf of the richer fellas who hate them.

Who are Limited Liability Caucasians?
A live sighting of a Limited Liability Caucasian and two supporters.

The Limited Liability Caucasian is a sub-set of the social class known as the Petting Zoo Bourgeoisie.

At some point, the LLC enlisted the services of an accountant to set up a Limited Liability Company or other type of corporation for themselves.

Once a person or group of people incorporates, they enjoy some advantages.

For one thing, many purchases can be made using corporate accounts instead of personal ones. This means that the items qualify as expenses which can reduce a future tax bill. Once taxes are settled, remaining corporate funds can be paid out to the principals after being taxed at the lower capital gains rate. So, for LLCs, the aim of this game is to lower taxes and reap all that extra money.

Brah! It’s like a quadruple-whammy of penny-squeezing:
• Use business funds instead of personal.
• Reduce the business’ tax liability.
• More left over after tax bill is paid.
• Lower capital gains rate means more money paid out to the principals.

Yeeeeeaaaaaaaaah, brah!

I’m not an accountant, so I can’t give all of this game’s specifics. But for the Limited Liability Caucasian, the fun part is figuring out everything that can be purchased with a business account, which then gets written off.

Over the years, I have witnessed displays of LLC braggadociousness. These fellas—and yes, 90% of LLCs are fellas—love to boast about leasing expensive cars, writing off vacations, and gaming the system in every way possible.

The whole practice is perfectly legal and many folks run valuable businesses that are structured as corporations. I’m not bashing the idea.

But I am bashing Limited Liability Caucasians who turn it all into a game.

Nowadays, LLCs suck even more because they seem so committed to obstructing any dialogue about the rich paying their fair share.

Willful ignorance. Gaslighting. Tone policing. Sealioning. Concern trolling. The Big Lie. You name it. The LLCs and others filled with white spite will use any manipulative tactic to rob this overdue conversation of its oxygen.

Covid-19 killed more people because the wealthiest citizens saw the pandemic as a profiteering opportunity. The Limited Liability Caucasian is one type of person who helped high-net-worth individuals reap big money from death.

And they did it free of charge.

Limited Liability Caucasians love playing games.

These days, people are hurting.

As income inequality increases, talk about income inequality increases. Even before the pandemic, the nation faced a crisis that stemmed from the wealth imbalance.

And the LLCs are ramping up a game plan which has been in place for a while now: de-rail all of this talk—and especially commentary about taxing the rich.

Once a conversation shifts to inequality, LLCs spring into action.

Using his best “Brah…do you even lift?” tone of voice, the LLC spouts something to the tune of: “Brah…instead of complaining about billionaires, game the system just like they do.”

Next, he’ll list out all of the cool crap he has acquired since opening his business accounts—before raising his voice a few decibels to say that everything is deductible at tax time.

(At this point, some folks might need to get a napkin and wipe off their faces. LLCs tend to get frothy-mouthed as they brag about the amount of money they’re conniving out of Uncle Sam.)

Limited Liability Caucasians know what they are doing.

The LLC’s argument itself isn’t really an argument. Which is the point.

Earlier, I wrote, de-rail talk instead of answer questions or respond with because these fellas don’t want to engage in conversation. They aim to stop conversation and send your thoughts off the tracks so you quit speaking.

“Money stashed offshore could fund infrastructure, schools—”
“Heyyyyyy…why are you talking about all that stuff? Set up an S-Corp like I did. Biiiiiigggggggg dollars!”

Like many in the modern Right wing, LLCs do everything they can to avoid engaging with their fellow countrymen about the last eighteen months.

It’s bigger than that, though. When it comes to any issue that concerns you to the point where you feel the need to speak out about it, their goal is to stop you from being heard. Name the issue. They don’t want to hear about it. How important is it to you? They don’t care.

Any person, from any demographic group, can incorporate. Doing so has helped countless people in the USA build businesses and chase their dreams. I’m not knocking the idea of incorporation at all.

But Limited Liability Caucasians are people who use it to game the system and also as a non-answer to statements like the rich should pay more taxes.

The Right loves non-answers.

LLCs pride themselves on the fact that they sound like less-rich versions of rich people. Ahhh, white privilege.

In closing, let’s recap their game plan:
• a person brings up an issue, say…tax-avoiding billionaires starting their own space race for no other reason than the ego trip.
• LLC interrupts and tells everyone to buy shit using the LLC-tax-cheat-amateur-Gordon-Gekko method.
• LLC mouths the word “Checkmate” to himself.
• LLC prances around in victory.

And the rich get richer.

Some earlier posts:
• The four horseshits of the apocalypse.
• Alan Berg: hi from Earth. Part II.
• Jonas Salk: what a pussy.
• Chevychasing it.
• Bury Rush Limbaugh in Arlington National Cemetery. Own the libs.
• When terms don’t mean what you think they mean.

I also write fiction. I have two dark comedies available, Fearkiller (Volume 1) and Notes from Trillionaire Island: Fearkiller (Volume 2), as well as Revolutionizer Alpha, the first book in a sci-fi series. I also wrote a story about God. It was weird, but then I decided to make the story and its sequel free. And all of the sudden, it didn’t seem as weird. Writing about God is much less weird when you write about God without charging money for it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s