The Petting Zoo Bourgeoisie, rich white trash, the Limited Liability Caucasians, MAGA and QAnon, and the Ward KKKleavers all had an armband-tastic year.

“I do think it’s quite possible that there will be a civil war. However, the action will be in the courts, not on the battlefield.”
— Gunhumpy McStupidguy*

Not too long ago, Gunhumpy McStupidguy responded to my blog post, “Micro-aggression gone masculine” with the statement above. 

My first thought after taking in his words was, “HOLY MUHFUGGIN MUHFUGGINS—HAS GUNHUMPY MCSTUPIDGUY GONE BANANAS!!!! YOU DON’T SAY THAT TRUE SHIT USING YOUR OUTSIDE VOICE, GUNHUMPY MCSTUPIDGUY!!!” 

His words, read them again. 

The Kyle Rittenhouse team of master-racy, superstar lawyers has been ramping up to sue all the media outlets, just because they can. And now that plan is endangered because Gunhumpy McStupidguy said the quiet part out loud.

He revealed the Rights’ “battle strategy” in such a succinct and eloquent way. I mean, look: he stated their whole “civil war attack plan.” 

We all know that the modern Right, in cahoots with the Joe Manchins and Kyrsten Sinemas of the country, has been scheming to use the legal system as a tool for ensnaring the people they view as enemies of their oligarchical agenda. 

Actually, I shouldn’t sound ignorant. The United States has used the legal system as a tool against Black and brown people from day one.

But the current campaign, between buying the Supreme Court and different judges in the lower courts, wants to take it to an extreme because they are a shrinking minority. They want minority rule. They aim to be the minority controller of an institution that was designed to be impartial.

(Goal for 2022: use the word “minority” more when describing the American Right. They are. And they need to be reminded of this fact more often. I’m a white dude, but I side with the future and forward motion. I’m not one of them.)

We all knew it. We just never said it out loud until ‘Humpy came along and flapped his gums.

Comparing the American Right to the Einsatzgruppen fits. I’ve expanded on this idea in other posts listed out below, but I’ll end this one with some thoughts.

In World War II, the Einsatzgruppen units were Hitler’s killing crews that rounded up innocent people after the Nazi fighting troops cleared a town or village of Russian soldiers. Once the threat got neutralized, the Einsatzgruppen went in, shooting civilians in order to foster terror. 

Like a group of bros, the Einsatzgruppen traveled in packs and targeted unarmed folks. The Einsatzgruppen had no problem killing children. Besides the murders, they went out of their way to inflict all sorts of pain on the populations. I don’t need to go into any detail. If you want to learn more about them, Google “Einsatzgruppen.” 

They weren’t about engaging with the fellas who were trained to use guns. Their job was to keep ordinary people afraid 24/7 so they would stay in line.

The modern Right wants to keep the masses in line, too. Only their plan is to use lawyers.

*Not actual name. I shouldn’t have to post this as a disclaimer but people are dumb.

Riffing off of earlier posts:
• Their undeserving little smiles are called “einsatzgruppens.” Part II.
• The New Einsatzgruppen wants to talk fatherhood and masculinity. Oh, boy!
• “Einsatzgruppen” rhymes with “pants-poopin’.” Just sayin’.
• I bet that the citizens of early-1930s Germany would have worn masks.
• A hypothetical experiment. Two white guys who overuse the word “successful” are its test subjects.
• Open letter to a selfie of my drunk-ass self, taken on August 11th, 2001.

I write fiction and have two dark comedies available, Fearkiller (Volume 1) and Notes from Trillionaire Island: Fearkiller (Volume 2), as well as Revolutionizer Alpha, the first book in a sci-fi series. I also wrote a story about God. It was weird, but then I decided to make the story and its sequel free. And all of the sudden, it didn’t seem as weird. Writing about God is much less weird when you write about God without charging money for it. Here’s my professional site, my trade. Follow me on Medium.