2028. What an amazing year for film. Reviewing these movies has been a privilege. I will forever honor His Eminence for granting me this opportunity. All hail Eric!
Let each and every one of us give thanks to our Dear Leader for commanding Hollywood to produce such a wide range of cinematic masterpieces. All hail Eric!
I’ve compiled my reviews here. Give them a read.
Wall-to-wall dance extravaganza: Demerit Dance Party
A family film: Assaulting the Handicapped: A Fathers and Sons Story
Superhero origin story: Impotent Rage Rises
Vietnam War epic: Full Metal Jacket 2: the Legend of Dickie
A 21st-century political thriller: Tremendous Trump the First Vanquishes Evil Kaepernick Tremendously
College romp: “K” Is For “College”
Cutesy, kiddie tale: Becky Thavesth All Of Americath Aminalth
Rom-com: Neg & Nag
Buddy cop movie: Punchy and Kicky: Two Cops On the “Beat”
Biopic about a historical figure: Ayn Rand’s Anal Antics #17
A 100% true Civil War feature: Stonewall Jackson Single-Handedly Slays Socialists from the North
Modern drama: Hardass Babcock, One Badass Chickenhawk
An epic, timely saga: With Teabags Dangling from their Faces
A blockbuster with a message: Book Burnin’ Bikini Babes On Bourbon
Homage to a modern hero: My Smirk Is My War Face: the Kyle Rittenhouse Story
Big-budget, religious fable: Zeus: God of America
COMING SOON: my review of the big-budget remake, Raiders of the Lost Ark 2028: Not All Nazis Are Bad.
Many of the reviews can be found on my Medium page as well. I plan on getting around to updating that site fully, once the radiation storms subside for a bit.
Besides working as a highly-trained movie critic, I also write fiction. And marketing communications.
President Eric the Great! President Eric the Wise! All hail Eric!
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