Spiteful. Two-faced. Pasty-faced. Ready to dial 911.

Don’t get mad at them. They’re just being white Part I. Part III. Part IV.

I’m gonna go full disclosure here: I recently had a full-on white person moment. Though I did snap out of it pretty quickly. 

My moment happened two days ago, right as the protests in Minneapolis grew heated. As they did, my first thought was, Oh shit…if they start destroying property, that will give the shitty, obtuse racists ammo for their shitty, obtuse arguments about how bad Black people are. 

Not too long after this thought popped into my head, I made sense of how dumb it sounded. 

Sure, busting up stores isn’t the best thing in the world. But these actions aren’t big enough to legitimize the racists’ points of view. Their crocodile tears over the damage are just that: crocodile tears. As a white dude, my role here is to point out how fake these whites’ anger is.

Systemic inequality is only getting worse. And the 1% need whites to view it all as some sad game. Part of why whites love this game is that they got told they can play dirty. Lying and cheating are acceptable as long their side “wins.” It’s very Donald Trump-esque. My role is to point out this stupid game they’re playing, to remind my fellow humans that their game relies on privilege.

When it comes to systemic racism, my role isn’t to help Black people soften their speech and tactics in order to make their message appeal to a group of willfully-ignorant souls. These whites are the angry-but-deep-down-miserable types who, in reality, just want to waste everyone else’s time and snicker to each other behind our backs. My role is to call out the whites who do not care, but pretend to care. That crowd’s game? I’m supposed to do what I can to ruin it. 

Their goal is to impede progress. Let’s have an 800-pound-gorilla-in-the-room moment: these servile, insecure souls want to manipulate others and act deceitfully because behaving this way helps them feel like amateur versions of the rich people they secretly hate. 

Instead of playing their game, my job is to kill their game. One way to kill their game is to talk about White America’s inherent bullshit:  

• These white people don’t really like cops. But they love thinking that they can sic cops on people they don’t like. 
• They have no love for the Star Spangled Banner. But they love to shame Colin Kaepernick for taking a knee to protest police violence. 
• They want women in their places. And they want the right to be Islamophobic and shed crocodile tears over how a minority of Muslims treat women.
• Though we whites enjoy systemic advantages, the bad white people have this fascination with Darwin and see the world as a harsh place. They get so angry at talk of white privilege because they know it exists—we whitefolk are more aware of our privilege than anybody. 
• They gladly accept government handouts. They bitch when the government gives handouts to people they don’t like. 
• They get super-proud of their ancestors who served in the military. And look down on most people who currently serve in the military.
• They’re obnoxiously cheap. And they love the fact that Jews get stereotyped for this behavior.
• They make money passively investing. But man, they love getting torqued at Mexicans for being lazy. 
• They’re all about law and order. Unless they can get away with breaking the law.
• They do drugs. They support drug wars.
• They live beyond their means. They shame minorities for lacking financial literacy. 
• They obsess over their trophies. And one of their favorite sayings is, “Not everyone gets a trophy.” 
• They need anger-management training and are easily offended. Yet they seem to think they can shame displays of emotion and ridicule others for getting offended too easily. 
• They snarl, “Life isn’t fair!” They whine, “Hey…no fair…”
• They hate victimhood. They think of themselves as victims.

The “America” in Keep America Great? Yeah, it’s full of shit. More of us white people need to say so. 

Rest in peace, George Floyd. So many more so tragically taken. 

America should not lead the world. 

Don’t get mad at them. They’re just being white Part I. Part III. Part IV.

More posts about systemic inequality: 
• Making the world safe for kakistocracy.
• When we go smart, they go dumb.
• I hope that coronavirus helps America redefine the term “white trash.”
• Yes indeed, bro. The phrase “white men built this country” is racist.
• Bros: America’s new Jews. Part V.
• Aw yeah. The ammosexuals have war-boners.
• A big thank you, from me to Rush Limbaugh.
• In cyberspace, no one can hear you scream.
• When things get tense, whites get dense.

I write fiction, too. Check out my Amazon Author Page.