Bootlicking chickenhawks are itchin’ to dial 911…oops, excuse me…to start a “civil war.”

You know those fellas who refer to themselves as “alpha males”? 

Guess what? They’re not alpha males. 

The self-described sheepdogs are full of sheepdogshit when they boast about what sheepdogs they are. 

Then there’s the non-military guys who sprinkle their vocabulary with military jargon. They lean more G.I. Joke and less G.I. Joe.

Over the last forty or so years, the Right’s sense of masculinity has mutated. Donald Trump didn’t usher in this new age of privilege and passive-aggressiveness, he capitalized on it. He didn’t do the work, just took all the credit. Which is quite the micro-aggressively masculine move.

When manly men have to remind the world that they are manly men, they aren’t as manly as those manly men who just do manly things—shit so manly that it forces people to stop whatever they are doing and point, mouths agape. “Whoooaaaaa…look at that manly man over there doing all that manly shit! Talk about manly!” 

The guy affectionately known as “Bonespurs” has been the President during some dark times and enabled the worst tendencies in the MAGA-hatted folk. But I know why Don’s type of fella likes to think that he bursts with testosterone, so much so that he constantly needs to tout his own manliness. 

Because acting in such ways is a sure-fire way to demonstrate that a fella is billionaire-friendly. 

It’s all about impressing the 1%. Less-rich white dudes gain a sense of purpose by showing off for richer white dudes. Prancing around, ranting about beta males, talking over other people—modern-day “warriors” do these things hoping that high-net-worth individuals will invite them to join that club where the richer “warriors” hang out after “battle” and regale each other with “war” stories. 

These days, the MAGA-hatted fellas brag so braggadociously about being too tough to wear masks because they believe that such behavior endears them to their 1% idols. If they go over-the-top with displays of white-privilege-disguised-as-masculinity, the fat-cats might hate them a bit less.

It’s an act. These bros live to be patted on the head by men like Donald Trump. 

But…shhhhhh….This is one of those 800-pound gorillas in the room that we don’t talk about. 

My biggest reason for not wanting to engage in physical violence with the financially-stressed white nationalists has nothing to do with the financially-stressed white nationalists. By not fighting, I piss off the rich fellas ten times more than I piss off the neo-Nazis they’ve emboldened. I choose non-violence because this option is the best option to make the 1% really, really, really mad. 

Really mad.

Mad. 

Hmmmphh!

Yeah, that mad. Perturbed, pouty-mouthed, stink-eyed mad.

To point out another 800-pound gorilla in the room, the 1% have been anticipating some type of conflict for a while now. Not only have they been anticipating it, many of them have been flat-out scheming ways to profiteer from it, squeeze every penny out of it, milk it until that war-titty dries up. While we’ve all been quarreling amongst ourselves, they’ve been investing in defense stocks, body armor companies…probably even headstone manufacturers and coffin makers, knowing the way that those anti-Semitic money-grubbers think.

So I suggest that we all choose a less warlike path. Don’t hurt rich white men. Hurt their net worth.

Who cares what the poorer supremacists think? Do things that royally perturb their owners instead. This option is much more fun, it is safer, and most importantly, it will lead to real societal progress. 

Here’s what will happen if I don’t engage in violence with the white nationalists who wear “Make America Great Again” hats that are made in China: the more non-violent I am, the greater the chances that some fat-cat will start thinking about all the money that he dumped into his five-star bomb shelter. 

The less that the uber-rich fellers need their bomb shelters, the more these fellers will obsess over the expensiveness of those bomb shelters. Think: those hardwood floors, the bars stocked with top-shelf booze, the jacuzzis, the secret side rooms where they will keep their mistresses—that shit costs money, yo. And that doesn’t even take into account what they have spent on their designer Road Warrior outfits.

The super-rich fella HATES not getting his money’s worth. Like, more than anything else. These men nickel and dime their way through life. It’s pathological. Starting around forty years ago, they began to enable white supremacy because they wanted to make a buck off of it. While they felt terrified by the prospect that whites were less than a century away from becoming a demographic minority, they also got giddy. They thought that they could combat this trend by ginning up poorer whites’ insecurities while lining their own pockets at the same time. Easy money. 

As rich white men grow increasingly anti-Semitic, they also behave like the worst of the unfair stereotypes that they use to stigmatize Jews. I’ve written about this mindset before, in my series Bros: America’s New Jews. II. III. IV. V. 

When thinking about this moment in history compared to earlier times, I wonder: did earlier oligarchs command so little respect as the modern American super-rich do?

The country’s income inequality has spiraled so far out of control that the population has no problem pointing out how badly the system is rigged. I mean…how can’t we point it out? It’s wayyyyyy too obvious. 

These days, only the dumbest and most opportunistic of Right-leaning bros attempt to defend systemic inequality that’s only spiraling more out of control. And those fellas just look stupider and more naive when they defend the rich white men who hate their guts. Everybody knows it. Middle-class bros who do not benefit from Trickle-Down Economics receive ridicule, not praise, when they attempt to tout the greatness of Trickle-Down Economics. Fellas who don’t own stocks get laughed at when they spout nonsense like “The stock market’s doin’ great, libtard! Hah!” 

Planet Earth: my country is a fuckshow. But the loudest, most boorish folks ain’t as warlike as they want you to believe.

While these modern times contain lots of stress and pain, I like the turbulence we’re creating. The country seems to be addressing some long overdue subjects. 

For instance: American Exceptionalism is bullshit and it has always been bullshit. Saying so in earlier days would only bring annoyance upon people. Nowadays, we’re talking about the fact that it’s bullshit. Which is a good thing.

The national conversation is freaking the racist weasels out. 

Freak them out even more. Don’t choose war. 

Don’t choose war. But stand your ground. Hold hands and stick together.

The guys who say they want war won’t do anything if you stand firm. Except whine about how you’re not playing fair.

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