MAGA folks don’t really like cops. But they loooooove the idea of cops.

White America: it’s “Blue Lives Matter” one minute, “Fuck you, Johnny Law” the next.

You know what bros love to do whenever bros find themselves in the company of like-minded bros and away from the outside world of non-bros? Bros looooove to regale each other with stories about moments when they stood up to cops. Or talked shit to cops. Or made fun of cops. Or told cops to remember who they worked for. Or ignored cops’ instructions—so many bros have stories like this and bros enjoy telling these stories more than they love sharing their latest blonde jokes and racist jokes.

Outsiders might be inclined to assume that these bros’ favorite type of story to retell would be sexual in nature, but no. Instead of recalling those times they treated women like shit, bros would much rather thrill each other with tales of treating police like shit.

Socioeconomics be damned, too. Poorer bros and richer bros do this. It’s all about demonstrating masculinity by showing contempt for law enforcement, one-upping other bros with stories of confronting authority head-on and putting a police officer in his or her place.

Weird, huh?

Yeah…those authoritarians who love lecturing non-whites about obeying every cop’s command down to the letter, the boot-lickers that shamelessly bend their brains in half attempting to rationalize every instance of police brutality, and the Star Spangled Boners who got all pissy when Colin Kaepernick took a knee—NEWSFLASH: these bros are full of shit.

But it’s okay. They’re white.

Besides, what am I saying? You already know that they’re full of shit. Such truisms are known by most Americans, even if not talked about openly. I get it. Who needs the grief that comes with provoking white tears? Those who do speak out about supremacy invite passive-aggressive, retaliatory actions like demonizing a person behind their back and disparaging their name to others. It’s sad to think that the Right wing used to be more individualistic and fair-minded—such a vast difference when compared to the sycophants, chickenhawks, and racist billionaire fetishists of the modern Right.

Now that I’m strolling down Memory Lane, gonna stroll a little longer. Stroll. Stroll. Stroll. Look at me stroll.

Remembering the days when Fox News-watching White America fantasized about killing the police who were going to break down their doors, looking to confiscate their guns.

Remember those days? Such mask-less times.

Why not join me on this stroll? Let’s think way, way, wayyyyyyy back—way back. 2014: Cliven Bundy’s tantrum inspired many Fox News viewers to join his standoff and point their guns at law enforcement. When whites aim pistols and rifles at cops, it’s called “patriotism.”

Doesn’t Cliven’s standoff—and his sons’ subsequent standoffs—seem so long ago? Even Ammon’s recent anti-mask charade feels like it happened at an earlier point in time, not just a few weeks back. It’s almost like having a Covid-19-positive psycho-man in the White House might play games with a pesson’s near-term and long-term memories.

Such simpler days, those days before the public could ever have imagined that the great American institution known as the National Rifle Association was, in reality, nothing but a giant slush fund. All those chuckle-body caucasians, chock full of American Exceptionalism, oblivious to what was really going on because remaining oblivious was a great way to own the libs.

“Hey, white people: take a break from watching Bill O’Reilly and hand over your rent money to the NRA’s network of gun manufacturers because their investors need bigger yachts—and while you’re at it, why not donate your family’s grocery budget to our organization as well? One of our board members needs a new divorce lawyer. Pew!Pew! If you got a few pennies left over, we suggest sending them to either Steve Bannon’s fake wall fund or the Wounded Warrior Project’s party account. In closing, we’d like to remind you that all of us and all of our rich friends hate you.”

Authoritarians know that rich white men hate them. Authoritarians don’t care. That’s because rich white men have enabled authoritarians’ worst tendencies. Mistreating police officers gives poorer whites a taste of what life must be like for the richer whites.

Your garden-variety Trumpster sees the world as a “shit rolls downhill” kind of place. The main reason many don’t end their own lives early is that rich fellas have told them that some dreaded “other” occupies a place further down the hill and institutions like our police forces and courts will give whites preferential treatment over that “other.” Yeah, supremacy functions like money, in a way. Not in a bills-paying way, or a food-buying way, or a fun-having way, but that doesn’t matter. What’s money when a fella has more freedom than others to dial 911 and sic police on people? While a fella may be financially-stressed, America sanctions an environment where he can think of the police as his personal garbage-cleaner-uppers who deal with his bullshit. Nothing like ordering around armed officers to take a fella’s mind off of his dwindling opportunities.

These people do not care one bit about the possibility that a police officer they called could wind up dead, leaving families behind. The tragedy of burying a parent, uncle, aunt, son, or daughter—not really a concern to the folks I’m talking about. To them, policemen and policewomen are not human beings. True, MAGA types get outraged when “others” put cops in danger. But they don’t care when a couple of their own murder police officers.

Don’t let Trumpsters’ rhetoric fool you. Cops aren’t their heroes in blue.

If you think things are weird now, wait until Eric Trump is president. During his reign, he will order Hollywood to make the most amazing movies, the best. Just the best. I know this because I’ve already reviewed some of these movies. This blog post here makes me think of two movies that I recently checked out, Demerit Dance Party and Punchy and Kicky: Two Cops on the “Beat.” Read the reviews.

ALL HAIL ERIC.

Also, I write fiction.

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